I hear often that if you choose to be a mum you can’t be a healer – or you can’t do it successfully.
Normally this sort of talking gets paired up with a chat about how the energy you need to heal, to connect with the Spiritual Realms, is “high”, while when you are a mum you are, by necessity, much of the Earth. This, apparently, would make it impossible to work on an etherical level.
This, I am so sorry to be so blunt, is utter nonsense. There are so many reasons this simply does not ring true to me.
First of all, there are no lower and higher energies, as there is no “matter is less important, inconsequential when compared to the spiritual dimension” (you can read a bit more on my point of view on the matter here).
Second – oh Goddess where to start – giving birth is a very spiritual experience and it does not end where the baby leaves the womb. Motherhood – parenthood – is a very spiritual experience in its entirety and quite a powerful spiritual practice if you choose to live it this way. It can be a strong motivation to look inside, go deeper into our understanding of ourselves, the world, the way we want to live and relate to others and to extend our empathy. Indeed parenthood can be healing in itself, something that adds to you as a healer – not something that takes away.
Third, motherhood often also means a stronger connection to Earth; it gives a chance to feel your body as an extension of our planet, as part of Nature in the truest and most profound sense. The energies of Mama Earth are deeply spiritual, after all – as can vouch anyone that actually connected with them. And Earth is among the biggest healer of all. Again a dimension that adds to your healing practice.
Yes, taking care of a child is time consuming – and energy consuming. Most likely this will result in less time available as a healer. But a healer capacity does not lie in their capacity to work and promote themselves full time, to work professionally in an immaculate surroundings and white clothes. For some, yes, this might the way they decide to work and that’s OK, but this does not mean it is the only way. Being a professional healer does not necessarily mean a studio, full time working hours, and a lot of money in your bank account, but that’s another matter.
So, can you be a mum and a healer? To me, being a healer is answering a call – it could be from Goddess, God or from your ancestors, from the land, from your own Soul… you Hear a Voice that cannot be denied and you follow Her. The way you choose to answer and act, expressing yourself, is a very personal experience. And is valid, regardless; even when you don’t follow the stereotypical image of a healer. After all, being a healer means also being a human in all its entirety, being true to yourself.
When I think about myself as a healer, I don’t see a nice studio and a white flowing dress (although, I am working on the studio side of things). This is simply not the way that I see myself – currently at least. On the other hand, I see a mom, and who has chosen to unschool at that, dressed in whatever comfortable yoga pants she has fished out of the drawer – and yes, they are dark coloured, because, hey, stains! I see somebody that enjoys being in the kitchen and cooks talking to her ancestors (hey grandma!), I see somebody that cares deeply for Nature, I see somebody that juggles at the best of her ability the beautiful never ending cascade of questions from a very curious and bright child, while holding in her heart all the people she has been in touch with, the people that have asked for her help.
I see somebody that does the distant healing sessions from the couch and sometimes the bed (and with her cat happily purring, curled up on top of her), while a soup is simmering for dinner, and then kisses her daughter before making the follow up phone call. I see somebody that Connects with the Spiritual Realms while on the bike going grocery shopping, because hey, why not? I see someone still in awe of the world, of Nature, of the beautiful complexity of our existence on this planet. I see someone that feels the Moon in her own tides and that feels trees are part of her, someone that feels her roots going deep into the soil and her energy going down to the core and up to the cosmos (or Goddess as she likes to call the Life Source). I see someone acutely aware that, though her body is transitory, she is not.
Yes, I also see somebody that sometimes gets frustrated that she doesn’t get to have more time to work as a healer – and to write – but that enjoys walking in the woods with her daughter, spotting fairies. I see a woman living a full life, with plenty of sides and colours and passions. And, yes, I see somebody that will get a studio (it is happening! I swear) and will enjoy the chance of working with no interruptions – and, even, maybe wearing a white flock (actually green or light blue are more my thing, but, who knows, right?). And yes, sometimes this means a dirty hand print on my dress, an interrupted phone call, a blog article that takes ages to get written because my daughter needs me. I have no doubt that, later in life, my days will be very different, but this does not mean that what I can do now means nothing or that I am allowed to do it because it does not stand up to a stereotype.
A medicine woman has never been a superhero, after all. She has never been someone whose life was all centered on healing. She has always been a woman, living her life, and in doing so, healing. Gardening, foraging, cooking for her family and for everybody who knocked at her door, talking to the wood spirits while walking around, taking a moment to light up a candle and some incense and utter a prayer before going to sleep, while watching the smoke and interpret its messages.
So whatever your life, whether you are a mum or not, whether you have a partner or not, if you feel the Call, answer it. The way you decide to answer that Call, and you choose to be a healer is your way and that is valid enough.
And if all the above, resonates and you feel you’d like to get in touch, please do so. I am here and “my” Gift is for the world, after all.